Dating Discourses and the Truth about men and women.

Found on Cosmopolitan’s website, Comedian Amy Schumer outlines ten ways in which woman can win over the heart of any man in under 10 seconds! To give a brief example, one tip she gives women is to cry uncontrollable in front of your man without explanation because “men love mystery”. I find this interesting because in my head I have decided what she is saying is totally absurd. Without even thinking, I recognize her advice as more of a joke than anything. Despite its comedic take on dating, this article brought up a legitimate point; there is a right and wrong way to date. As soon as I read the article, all I could think about was Foucault; I couldn't help but think of his notions of discourse and Truth. I wanted to understand the productive discourses of proper dating practices.

        For Foucault, the concept of discourse may be explained as a social process which involves the production of knowledge (Foucault, 1971). Certain forms of knowledge become known as Truths, those "common sense facts" which are taken for granted. When discussing the proper form of dating, a Truth could be that men always ask the women out. When asked why women and men act this way, the answer is often "because that is how it has always been". This practice is repeated and soon becomes a Truth. Similar to discourses surrounding homeless peoples, there too are discourses and Truths which center around dating. The fact that I have decided this article was written in satiric form is enough to prove Foucault's theory.  
            Back to Amy’s article now. It is very interesting to see such an ironic article posted on the website of one of America’s leading female publications. As I have already mentioned above, the article was meant to be a joke, however it was published for a reason. Perhaps women also find it a joke to constantly be worried about the proper way to date. Does it not seem odd that there are guidelines which women must follow in order to be date-able? This is not to say that women are once again the victims to men, however. Amy has taken a bold step to bring forward a trend in North American dating, where women are expected to follow certain rules in order to become attached. I wonder about the men who do not want to date women who follow guidelines and the women who have no interest in those men who expect them to. Could there be two or more sets of guidelines to be followed to meet your sweetheart? Is there even truly one proper guideline?

            As Foucault makes clear, these Truths are not in fact based on truth at all, at least not to its entire audience.  Often times, it is because of these Truths that stereotypes exist. As mentioned in an earlier post, gender is very different from sex. There seem to be Truths surrounding one’s gender which transcend into the dating world. Men, for example are said to be strong, aggressive beings so they would naturally be the one to initiate the first conversation. Women, on the other hand are believed to be shy, passive beings incapable of making the first move. Unfortunately, it is only when something so blatant as Amy’s article pops up that we begin to question these Truths. My question would be to know why so many men and women spontaneously consent to the maintenance of these Truths knowing they will receive no personal gain from them.

References


Foucault, Michel. (1971). Order of Discourse. Social Science Information 10(2), 7-30.


Schumer, Amy. (March 2010). How to Win Over a Guy in 10 Seconds. Retrieved fromhttp://www.cosmopolitan.com/advice/tips/win-him-over-in-ten-seconds?click=cos_new